Nontraditional Family Law

New York to Change Policies on Gay Marriage

2008-05-29T07:27:09-05:00

Gov. Paterson has directed all state agencies to revise their policies and regulations to recognize same-sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions. The governor's legal counsel instructed the agencies that gay couples married elsewhere "should be afforded the same recognition as any other legally performed union."

Source: New York Times
Read the article here.

Partnering with Your Kid's School

2008-01-23T16:46:50-06:00

The HSC Foundation has developed a booklet designed to help parents of children with health or mental health care needs learn about available resources and partner with he child's school. The booklet is available in English and Spanish here.

Technorati Tags: Alternative Family, Non-traditional Family, Nontraditional Family

Talking to Your Children About Family - Free Online Resource

2008-01-14T15:52:46-06:00

All children want to know where they came from. In non-traditional families, the answers may be more difficult.

The Family Equality Council sums it up like this:

The presumption of a mother and father creating a child (which may be valid for some of our children) is one with which our children will be saturated through their daily interactions with children’s books, the media, school personnel, peer discussions and exposure to various family models. It is your job as a parent, whether you identify as part of the LGBTQ community or not, to teach your children about different family constellations.

The council offers a free publication Talking To Children About Our Families that contains age-appropriate language and examples for some of the questions you might get from your own kids and others in your life. Download it here. Check out their other publications here.

Hat tip to: Family Equality Council

Same-Sex Divorce

2008-01-03T14:46:44-06:00

Mombian has a post today regarding a recent Washington Post Article on same-sex divorces. The article highlights several areas where the law is unsettled and same-sex couples are at a disadvantage, such as:

Family issues. Most agree that it is best to for the non-biological parent to adopt the children and that's still a good idea. However, courts that typically favor the mother in custody cases may face two moms. Also, for the non-bilogical parent that has not adopted, that parent is not entitled to child support.
Financial issues. Heterosexual couples divorcing get a tax deduction for alimony payments, but because federal law doesn't recognize same-sex marriage, the tax deduction doesn't apply. Plus, retirement and pension plans, easily split for heterosexual couples divorcing, have to be cashed out and and are heavily taxed for same-sex couples.
Crossing state lines. The Rhode Island Supreme Court, recently ruled that the state's family court lacked the authority to grant a divorce for a same-sex couples because that state doesn't recognize same-sex marriage. This left the couple involved without a vehicle for divorce unless they returned to Massachusetts where they were married.

Read the Mombian Post here and the Washington Post article here (free registration may be required).

Why Research Matters - a Perspective on LGBT Research

2008-01-02T14:30:50-06:00

Abbie E. Goldberg, Ph.D., as guest author, provides information on why it is important for you to participate in research if you are LGBT. Abbie writes:

When I started researching lesbian parenthood, about seven years ago, I quickly learned that I was entering a field in which any research that I produced had the capacity to be used for good or misinterpreted for evil. Studies that demonstrated the positive adjustment of children of lesbian and gay parents are cited repeatedly in courtrooms, as evidence as to why it is not fair to deny a parent custody on the basis of his or her sexual orientation (i.e., in divorce proceedings). At the same time, critics of gay/lesbian parenting have often argued that the flaws in these studies preclude us from drawing these conclusions. In response, we as researchers of LGBT parent-families have often had to carefully (and repeatedly) explain and defend our findings and research methodology. In addition, our critics have pushed us to improve the rigor of our research designs (for example, including larger numbers of participants in our studies, and seeking out more diverse participants for our studies), which is, ultimately a good thing: Better science and fewer flaws means that our findings are less vulnerable to hen-pecking.

Why is it important to participate in research?

Gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered persons and parents have so often been excluded in research studies. What we know about mental health, marriage, parenthood, and so many other areas is largely based on research with white, middle-class, heterosexual participants. When participants are sought for research, it is not uncommon to purposefully exclude LGBT persons, because these numbers are presumably “too small” to draw “meaningful comparisons.” Or, federal grant money is used to fund this research, and these monies may be specifically designated for research on heterosexual persons.

Increasingly, there are opportunities to participate in research that is inclusive of or specifically aimed at LGBT persons and parents. Participating in this research is important, in that it expands what we know about people, relationships, and well-being. Ideally, this knowledge can be used to better serve the LGBT community, to argue for things like marriage equality and/or adoption rights, and to prompt greater recognition of LGBT people and families. However, not all researchers are “affirming.” Before participating in research, it is important to gather as much information as possible about the researcher and the aims of the research. For example, I recommend:

Reading over the research materials/calls for participants with a special eye towards anything offensive or suspicious “Googling” the investigator for signs of right-wing activity and/or affiliations. If the individual is a student, ask to speak with or communicate the student’s advisor. Go onto an academic search engine and look to see if the researcher has published anything. Look at the abstracts of the papers for signs that the individual is non-affirming or has unstated objectives. Ask as many questions as you like!!

Participating in research can be quite rewarding. I don’t like to speak for my participants, but I know from talking with them about their experiences participating in my research on lesbian and gay parenting and the transition to adoptive parenthood that they have enjoyed several aspects of their involvement. Namely, contributing to knowledge, being able to share their story in a supportive and affirming environment, receiving newsletters on topics related to gay parenting, and reading write-ups of the study findings and hearing about how they are being used have all been mentioned as benefits of their research involvement. As one person stated, “It’s a civic duty…sort of like a way more fun version of jury duty.” Indeed.

Why, specifically, does this research matter?
The research that has been done with LGBT individuals, couples, and parents has had a significant impact. As an example, consider the body of research on lesbian and gay parents and their children. In the 1980’s and 1990’s, there were a number of highly-publicized court cases in which mothers were being denied custody of their children following (heterosexual) divorces, on the basis of their sexual orientation. This prompted a number of researchers to study lesbian divorced mothers and heterosexual divorced mothers and their children in order to establish the irrelevance of a mother’s sexual orientation on her child’s mental health. These early studies (which have been supported by recent work) found no evidence that children with lesbian mothers were psychologically or emotionally “deficient” compared to children of heterosexual mothers. This research is repeatedly cited in the context of judicial decision-making about child custody, adoption, etc. by LGBT parents.   The fight isn’t over yet. Right-wing organizations such as The Family Research Institute, headed by Paul Cameron, consistently criticize such research on the basis of methodological limitations and researchers’ “biases.” This is why good-quality research, with as many participants as possible, is so important.

Current Research Opportunities
Here are a few studies that involve that LGBT community that are currently seeking participants:

Abbie Goldberg, Ph.D. – The Transition to Adoptive Parenthood Project: I am conducting a study of the transition to adoptive parenthood among same-sex couples. Couples who are in the process of adopting (e.g., are actively working with an agency or lawyer in an effort to adopt) are encouraged to participate! Contact me at agoldberg@clarku.edu for more information, or visit my website, www.clarku.edu/faculty/goldberg/index.html

Mark Gianino, Ph.D. – Experiences of Multicultural, Adopted Youth with LGBT Parents: Mark is seeking to understand the experiences and perspectives of youth (age 14-22) who were adopted by LGBT parents and who are also of a different race than their parents. Contact him at mgianino@bu.edu for more information.

Mom Fights Sperm Donor for Custody

2007-09-10T17:35:17-05:00

Mombian reports on a recent case involving a lesbian mom in Texas who may lose custody of her son to the sperm donor. When Tamila and her partner, Jennie, decided to have children, Jennie's uncle seemed like a good choice as donor. The child would have genetic links through both parents since Tamila would carry the child. While Tamila and Jennie were together, the arrangement worked out fine. However when they split, the situation deteriorated. Now, the donor is suing for custody and Tamila faces the prospect of spending only one weekend a month with her son. This case illustrates the need for consulting with an attorney before entering into a sperm donor arrangement.

Thanks to Mombian for the post.

What is a Family?

2007-08-28T17:40:22-05:00

The Family Pride Blog has a recent post on the current definition of family. As they note, the traditional definition of family as mom, dad, two kids and Fido leaves out many families. Among them:

Elderly couples who chose not to marry because of Medicaid rules or other reasons
Unmarried partners (opposite sex and same sex)
Brothers and sisters living together
Single parents who live together with their children to pool resources
Grandparents raising their grandchildren

Family Pride quotes a post in Constant Chatter:

"So what is a family in 2007? …A family is (and always has been) an ongoing creation – if home is where when you have to go there, they have to take you in, then family are the people who take you in, no matter what. For some people, family is the nucleus of two parents and two or three children, living in a simple home. For others, family is a much larger, multigenerational structure, sometimes living together in a large dwelling, helping one another, getting into one another’s business, and raising generations of children together. For many city dwellers, family is one’s circle of friends, to whom we turn for everything from Sunday brunch to Passover Seders, acting as one another’s advisors in all things from childcare to divorce, and being there for one another in a world that can sometimes overwhelm and frighten even the toughest among us. With or without children, with one parent or two, gay or straight, we all cobble together families as best we can, because, in the end, there is something exceedingly human in our desire, our need, to be a part of a loving and supportive group that will be there for us. The world will change, our society will evolve, but our need for family, that is eternal."

Family Pride sums it up like this:

"The defintion [sic] of family will continue to evolve with our society, but the language of bedtime and bath time, hugs and homework bonds us all together as parents."

Can't say it better than that.

Sources: Family Pride Blog, Constant Chatter

Same Sex Couples and Retirement Planning

2007-08-28T16:03:11-05:00

Mombian has a recent post highlighting articles on gay parents. One in particular comes from the Washington Post and discusses the various challenges same-sex couples face regarding retirement planning, such as:

Social Security benefits - Same-sex couples can't get survivor benefits, nor can the lower earning partner get the additional benefits available to married couples while they are both living.
Medicaid complications - Since medicaid is needs-based, a person must show they have few assets to qualify. A married couple isn't forced to sell the house to cover expenses as long as one person lives in the house. Unmarried couples don't have that protection.
Health insurance - Some companies provide health insurance coverage to domestic partners, although it's treated as taxable income. If only one member of a same-sex couple is allowed to be the legal parent of the couple's children, only that parent will be able to cover a child under employer-provided health insurance.

These are just a few examples. The legal backdrop of laws protecting married couples in these situations doesn't apply to same-sex couples. There are ways to work around many of the problems, but obtaining what comes routinely to married couples may involve lawyers and financial planners, and more money out of pocket.

Read the Washington Post Article here.

Adoptive Parenthood Study

2007-08-20T12:55:48-05:00

If you are part of a of a same-sex couple and planning to adopt for the first time, your help may be needed in a study on the transition to adoptive parenthood. Participants will be interviewed individually by phone during the pre-adoption period, and then again three months after the adoption. For more information about the The Transition to Adoptive Parenthood Project contact Abbie Goldberg, Ph.D., at 508/793-7289, or by email, at agoldberg@clarku.edu.

Download a brochure describing the study here:

Download brochure

Thanks to the Human Rights Campaign Family Newsletter. Check out their website here.

Oklahoma Law Barring Recognition of Same Sex Adoptions Held Unconstitutional

2007-08-16T13:18:32-05:00

A panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 10th Circuit upheld a lower court decision striking down, as unconstitutional, an Oklahoma law barring recognition of adoptions by same-sex couples already finalized in another states. The Adoption Invalidation Law, passed in 2004, said that Oklahoma "shall not recognize an adoption by more than one individual of the same sex from any other state or foreign jurisdiction." The case involved three same-sex couples who had adopted children in other states. The 10th circuit held:

"We hold that final adoption orders by a state court of competent jurisdiction are judgments that must be given full faith and credit under the Constitution by every other state in the nation. Because the Oklahoma statute at issue categorically rejects a class of out-of-state adoption decrees, it violates the Full Faith and Credit Clause. "

The case is Finstuen v. Crutcher and can be read online here.

Thanks to Grant Griffiths of the Kansas Family Law blog for this post.

Technorati Tags: Adoption, Non-traditional Family, Nontraditional Family