Nontraditional Family Law

Talking to Your Children About Family - Free Online Resource

All children want to know where they came from. In non-traditional families, the answers may be more difficult.

The Family Equality Council sums it up like this:

The presumption of a mother and father creating a child (which may be valid for some of our children) is one with which our children will be saturated through their daily interactions with children’s books, the media, school personnel, peer discussions and exposure to various family models. It is your job as a parent, whether you identify as part of the LGBTQ community or not, to teach your children about different family constellations.

The council offers a free publication Talking To Children About Our Families that contains age-appropriate language and examples for some of the questions you might get from your own kids and others in your life. Download it here. Check out their other publications here.

Hat tip to: Family Equality Council

What is a Family?

The Family Pride Blog has a recent post on the current definition of family.  As they note, the traditional definition of family as mom, dad, two kids and Fido leaves out many families. Among them:

• Elderly couples who chose not to marry because of Medicaid rules or other reasons
• Unmarried partners (opposite sex and same sex)
• Brothers and sisters living together
• Single parents who live together with their children to pool resources
• Grandparents raising their grandchildren

Family Pride quotes a post in Constant Chatter:

"So what is a family in 2007? …A family is (and always has been) an ongoing creation – if home is where when you have to go there, they have to take you in, then family are the people who take you in, no matter what. For some people, family is the nucleus of two parents and two or three children, living in a simple home. For others, family is a much larger, multigenerational structure, sometimes living together in a large dwelling, helping one another, getting into one another’s business, and raising generations of children together. For many city dwellers, family is one’s circle of friends, to whom we turn for everything from Sunday brunch to Passover Seders, acting as one another’s advisors in all things from childcare to divorce, and being there for one another in a world that can sometimes overwhelm and frighten even the toughest among us. With or without children, with one parent or two, gay or straight, we all cobble together families as best we can, because, in the end, there is something exceedingly human in our desire, our need, to be a part of a loving and supportive group that will be there for us. The world will change, our society will evolve, but our need for family, that is eternal."

Family Pride sums it up like this:

"The defintion [sic] of family will continue to evolve with our society, but the language of bedtime and bath time, hugs and homework bonds us all together as parents."

Can't say it better than that.

Sources: Family Pride Blog, Constant Chatter

Same Sex Couples and Retirement Planning

Mombian has a recent post highlighting articles on gay parents. One in particular comes from the Washington Post and discusses the various challenges same-sex couples face regarding retirement planning, such as:

• Social Security benefits - Same-sex couples can't get survivor benefits, nor can the lower earning partner get the additional benefits available to married couples while they are both living.
• Medicaid complications - Since medicaid is needs-based, a person must show they have few assets to qualify.  A married couple isn't forced to sell the house to cover expenses as long as one person lives in the house.  Unmarried couples don't have that protection.
• Health insurance - Some companies provide health insurance coverage to domestic partners, although it's treated as taxable income. If only one member of a same-sex couple is allowed to be the legal parent of the couple's children, only that parent will be able to cover a child under employer-provided health insurance.

These are just a few examples. The legal backdrop of laws protecting married couples in these situations doesn't apply to same-sex couples.  There are ways to work around many of the problems, but obtaining what comes routinely to married couples may involve lawyers and financial planners, and more money out of pocket.

Read the Washington Post Article here.

Second Parent Adoption

A second parent adoption allows the second partner to legally adopt the biological or adoptive child of the first partner. The first partner does not give up any parental rights. The result is that the child has two legal parents.

Second parent adoption is critical to protect the child's right to financial support in the event one parent dies or is incapacitated. With a legally recognized parental relationship, the child can inherit from a deceased parent, claim social security benefits, obtain worker's compensation benefits and obtain health insurance benefits from a parent's employee. Furthermore, the adoption clarifies the custody rights of the second parent; without it, the child may be placed in foster care or with unfamiliar relatives.

Second parent adoption also protects the child's right to financial support and a continuing relationship with the second parent if the parents' relationship ends. Without it, the child has no right to financial support and visitation/custody may be denied to the second parent.

Additionally in the event of an emergency in which one legal parent is unavailable, the other legal parent will be able to consent to medical treatment for the child and may visit the child in the hospital.

Check out the National Center for Lesbian Rights for more information.

Technorati Tags: Adoption, Domestic Partnership, Non-traditional Family, Alternative Family

Life Planning for the Non-Traditional Family

Ozzie & Harriet, June & Ward move over - According to the latest census, only 24% of U.S. households consist of married couples with kids. In their place is an ever-widening definition of family, such as grandparents caring for grandchildren, adult children caring for aging parents, elderly couples who chose not to marry, same-sex partners (with or without children), divorced parents raising kids alone, step-parents with blended families, adoptive parents, etc.

Non-traditional families want the same peace of mind as other families when it comes to managing, protecting and passing on assets to future generations. However, non-traditional families can't rely on the backdrop of laws that apply to the traditional, nuclear family. For example, laws regarding government benefits for survivors, inheritance, property division and child custody typically don't apply to non-traditional families. That's why its important for the non-traditional family to consider life and estate planning alternatives such as:

• Domestic Partnership or "Living Together" Agreement - Contract between people living together that includes details regarding who owns property, how it will be divided, how finances are managed etc. It is similar to a prenuptial agreement.
• Parenting Agreement - Allows a biological parent to designate a guardian for her child such as a co-parent, friend or family member. The guardian can also be given the power to make medical decisions for the child. This type of agreement might also include clauses describing support for the child, custody and visitation.
• Power of Attorney - One person (the "principal") designates another (the "agent) to act on his behalf. The agent can be given broad power to make decisions regarding the principal's financial and business affairs. The principal can also sign a power of attorney for more limited purposes such as health care decisions or selling a home.
• Living Will or Advance Directive - Directs your doctor to use or refrain from using artificial means of life support in the event you are in a terminal and irreversible condition.
• Will - A will allows you to designate who gets your property when you die. In the absence of a will, state law makes this determination. In the case of a non-traditional family, the result may not be what you intend. For example, many states provide that your property goes to your spouse upon your death. If you don't have a legally recognized spouse, the property may go to your parents or siblings and leave your partner out.
• Funeral Arrangements - Allows you to detail exactly how you would like your funeral to be carried out. Without this type of document, the law will look to blood relatives to make these decisions.
• Nomination of a Guardian or Conservator - You can designate who is to make decisions for you in the event you are incapacitated.

Technorati Tags: Alternative Family, Domestic Partnership, Estate Planning, Nontraditional Family

Defining the Non-Traditional Family

Because the definition of family continues to expand, it might be easier to define a non-tradtional family by saying what it isn't: a married couple with children. In general, the concept includes many long term, economically interdependent relationships, such as:

• Elderly couples who chose not to marry because of Medicaid rules or other reasons
• Unmarried partners (opposite sex and same sex)
• Brothers and sisters living together
• Single parents who live together with their children to pool resources
• Grandparents raising their grandchildren

Technorati Tags: Domestic Partnership, Non-traditional Family